英文简历中不该出现的话范本格式怎么写

英文简历中不该出现的话范文（2048字）

致命的大错

Finished 8th in my high school graduating class of 10.

Qualifications: No education or experience.

I am relatively intelligent, obedient and loyal as a puppy.

My compensation should be at least equal to my age.

Reason for Leaving: It had to do with the IRS, FBI and SEC.

Fired because I fought for lower pay.

Size of employer: Very tall, probably over 65 .

Please disregard the enclosed resume-it is terribly out of date.

Reason for Leaving: My boss said the end of the world is near.

Reason for Leaving: The owner gave new meaning to the word paranoia. I prefer to elaborate privately.

打字错误与语法错误

Here are my qualifications for you to overlook.

Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer.

I am a rabid typist.

Work History: Performed brain wave tests,1879-1981.

After receiving advice from several different angels, I have decided to

pursue a new line of work.

Accounting cleric.

As indicted, I have over five years of experience analyzing investments.

Suspected to graduate earlynce analyzing investments.

Suspected to graduate early next year.

Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets.

Proven ability to track down and correct erors.

Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department.

Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.

Accomplishments: Completed 11 years of high school.

不应有的幽默

Note: Keep this resume on top of the stack. Use all others to heat your house.

Assisted in daily preparation of large quantities of consumable items in a fast-paced setting. (Translation: Short-order cook.)

But wait...theres more. You get all this business knowledge plus a grasp of marketing that is second nature.

I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.

My fortune cookie said, Your next interview will result in a job-and I like your company in particular.

Title: Another resume from the Profiles in Excellence series.

Also Known As: Mr. Productivity, Mr. Clever, Mr.Fix-it.

Trustworthy references available upon request-if I give them a few bucks.

Lets meet so you can ooh and ahh over my experience.

《英文简历中不该出现的话》范文模板